I come from a small immediate family, mom, dad, bro and I. We've always been quite a close knit family, with the exception of dad. Dad has always been a looming authoritive figure (in short, we were all scared of him! Hahaha!) and his word was law. There was no arguing with him, no asking him why, just doing as he says. Mom being the house wife for most of the years, was always there for us (more time for us to bully her, hehehe!). Bro is 7 years older than me, as a child, it was always him taking care of me, bathing, feeding, teaching, cooking and educating me.
Dad was a government officer for most of his working years thus we lived a simple life. Home was government quarters for many years, no fancy holidays, cars, clothes, etc. We made do with what we had, I grew up on hand me downs and would look forward to the year end holidays when dad would put aside money to take us for a short holiday within Penang to the beach resorts. My brother and I didn't look at others and felt we had the shorter end of the stick nor did we make remarks to our parents such as, ' why don't we have this, why don't we have that'. Life was simple, but we were very happy and wholesome as a family. I will talk more about my life growing up in the next post.
Unfortunately, mom had a bad fall when I was about 10 and was paralysed from neck down. Overnight, I had an accelerated wake up call to life. I was doing housework, cooking, caring for my mom which included feeding and bathing her. It was surely difficult but that whole experience has made me a much stronger person today. After she recovered, I used to accompany her for her physiotherapy sessions and alternate medical treatments (I used to call them torture sessions at that age, coz I would see them stretching her and twisting her in funny positions). She was later given an option to insert a steel rod into her spine but the docs told us, her chance is either 50% recovery or 50% permanent paralysis. Mom being the fighter she is, decided to live without the rod and take things a day at a time. I am thankful to God that she recovered and is fine today. Looking at her today, one would never have guessed that she has been through this ordeal. She just needs to be careful not to have any more falls.
I was not that close to my dad in much of my earlier days. A lot of my friends and schoolmates will vouch to that statement as we hardly talked, and when we did, it was usually serious stuff. He left much of bringing us up to mom. It was only in the last 7 years after I moved from Penang to KL where we grew closer. I guess we both missed each other and that gave us the opportunity to talk more. Growing up, my dad isn't one who shows much emotion. He's always the cool, calm and collected one, a total opposite from mom! Unfortunately May last year, I was pretty devastated when I received news that dad was diagnosed with cancer. He had gone for a bladder stone removal operation and the doctors found another growth during the procedure. After that, it was multiple hospital visits as the doctor's in Penang mostly advised him to remove the whole bladder and live with a bag outside his body. Dad and mom have always been socially active, they have a life more happening than mine!!! Asking him to do that would pretty much have killed him if the cancer didn't. So we decided to come back to KL to see what options we had here. We were relieved when the doctor here said that there were alternate options of monitoring as the growth was still contained. From then til now, dad has had multiple procedures and also chemo. He is due for another check this Monday to check on the growth size after chemo. I pray all will be positive and that he will be fine. Dad has taken all this very positively, he has been eating regularly and is looking well. For me, I had to be strong for him and also my mom even though in my alone moments, I just break down and ask God for strength. I am sure all will be fine in due time. In life, you always imagine your parents as your pillars and just assume that they are 'super man and woman', that they will not get sick and old. I have learnt not to take them for granted and to appreciate all the time I still get to spend with them. I admit, I don't make as much time as I can to spend with them and this was something I told myself I would strive to do. Life is so fragile, you never know when things here today will be gone tomorrow. Something my dad shared with me one day when I asked him what makes him happy, he said 'Gaik, I am thankful each day when I wake up as God has given me another day to spend with my family. When my wife beside me stirs, I am again thankful as God has given her another day with me. When my phone rings and it is you or your brother, I am thankful as I know both my children are well with their families. For all these, I am happy.'
